A man is standing at the pearly gates and St. Peter addresses him: “All you need to have done is one good deed, and we will allow you passage into heaven”
The man says, “No problem,” as he recounts to St. Peter that he once stopped at an intersection and saw a motorcycle gang harassing a young woman. He got out of his car, walked up to one of the bikers—who was over seven feet tall and must have weighed nearly 400 pounds—and told the biker that abusing and harassing a woman is a cowardly act and that he would not tolerate it in his presence. He then reached up, yanked out his nose ring and kicked him in the schnotz to make a point.
St. Peter is frantically searching the man’s life in his book in front of him and says, “I can’t find that incident anywhere in your file…when did that happen?”
The man looks down at his watch and says, “Oh, about five minutes ago.”
Psst - check out the "We Got Jokes" thread here 
__________________
__________________________________________________
Salty Dog
You've been..... TUNDRASTRUCK!
__________________________________________________
Ride: 2001 Tundra SR5, 4WD, The Lean Mean Green Machine, Lift, Front: Bilstein 5100 Adjustable Shocks w/ Total Chaos Diff Drop, Lift, Rear: 1" Wheeler's Blocks, Wheels: Chromed Factory 4Runner Rims, 17", Tires: Bridgestone Revos, 285/70R-17, Performance: Unichip, Borla Exhaust, Optima Yellow-top Battery, Flux Capacitor, Interior: Dog Hair on Back Seat, Coffee Stains on Console, Bling: Ivan Stewart TRD Grille, Westin Nerf Bars, Clear Corners & Eurotails, Debadged, Audio: Kenwood DDX512 Head Unit, Kenwood KCA-XM100V Satellite Radio Interface, Polk Audio db6501 component speakers (Front), Polk Audio db651s speakers (Rear), Profile AP740 4-channel amplifier, Rockford Fosgate 8” Punch subwoofer (x 2) in Q-Logic enclosure, Profile AP700M mono subwoofer amplifier, Audiovox ACA200W Rear-view camera, Shark Fin Antenna, Other: Viair 450C compressor, 2.5 Gallon air tank, Kleinn Pro Series 4-Trumpet air horns, Eye Candy: Hottie Wife in Passenger Seat, Security System: One Very Ornery Dog __________________________________________________