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For months, soldiers at Camp Doha, Kuwait, have been wearing T-shirts that say, "Operation Iraqi Freedom: Mission Accomplished." But recently a new T-shirt has appeared suggesting that the mission may be more open-ended. It reads, "Operation Iraqi Freedom: Established 2003.

1945: A commander would put his butt on the line to protect his people. 2003: A commander will put his people on the line to protect his butt.

Up in Heaven, Alexander the Great, Frederick the Great and Napoleon are looking down on events in Iraq. Alexander says, "Wow, if I had just one of Bush's armored divisions, I would definitely have conquered India." Frederick the Great states, "Surely if I only had a few squadrons of Bush's air force I would have won the Seven Years War decisively in a matter of weeks." There is a long pause as three continue to watch events. Then Napoleon speaks, "And if I only had that Fox News, no one would have ever known that I lost the Russia campaign."

Today, President Bush announced he's been mispronouncing the name of Iraq all along. He said it's actually pronounced Iran.

For the first time the people of Iraq are united. Today on CNN I saw a Kurd, a Shiite and a member of the Republican Guard coming together to cart off a big screen TV.

Now there are reports from Baghdad that officials are taking bribes for favors, giving jobs to their relatives, taking money under the table from contractors. You know what this means? They already have an American-style democracy.

We have an important decision to make now about who controls Iraq. You know, that's a critical question, because it's who we're going to be fighting in five to ten years.

Yesterday American and British troops handed out food to hundreds of Iraqis. Not surprisingly, the Iraqis handed the British food back.

CNN said there is a plan to divide Iraq into three parts ... regular, premium and unleaded.

President Bush may be the smartest military president in history. First, he gets Iraq to destroy all of their own weapons. Then he declares war.

It looks like they finally found Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq; they found a vile of a toxic blistering agent that had been weaponized with a spray. In other news, a CNN reporter lost her mace.

The person who turned in Saddam Hussein received an award of $25 million: Do you know what he said when he opened the check from the United States government: Wait just one second, this doesn't look right, $16.7 million, what is this FICA?

The Bush administration is trying to change the perception that it is anti-French and says that the French are great allies of America. Nevertheless, they did leak a document which claims that the Statute of Liberty was actually built with child labor.

The Bush administration renewed its call for a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. So I guess they feel the only time that guys should be on top of each other naked is in an Iraqi prison.

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld told senators that the Geneva convention on prisoner's rights applies in Iraq, but not for prisoners held in Guantanamo Bay. When asked what the difference was Rumsfeld said that nobody has pictures of Guantanamo Bay.

Who would have ever thought that more naked pictures would come out under the Bush administration than under the Clinton administration?

Donald Rumsfeld testified before Congress today. Donald Rumsfeld said he didn't read the report on Iraqi prisoners because it was too long and it contained too much information. When he heard this, President Bush said 'Hey that's my line.