[Possum]

The "Stella" Awards

We live in a sad sad world . . .

Stella Liebeck is the 81 year old lady who spilled coffee on herself
and sued McDonald's. This case inspired an annual award - The
"Stella" Awards - for the most frivolous lawsuits in the U.S. The following are this year's candidates:

1. January 2000:
Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little brat was Ms. Robertson's son.

2. June 1998:
A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

3. October 1998:
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was unable to get the garage door to go up since the automatic garage door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, so Mr. Dickson
found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food he found in the garage. He sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed and awarded him $500,000.

4. October 1999:
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and
medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced-in yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

5. May 2001:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a wet floor and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

6. December 1997:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak in through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

7. November 2001:
Mr. George Cates of Clifton, Colorado purchased a brand new motor home. On his first trip home, having merged onto I-70, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the Winnebago left the freeway, crashed and
overturned. Mr. Cates sued Winnebago for not advising him in the handbook that he couldn't actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000 plus a new Winnie. Winnebago actually changed their operator manuals as a result of this court case, just in case there are any other complete morons buying their vehicles.