I'd tend to agree that of the 2 the X-Terra might would suit better..... The daughter had a FJ for a time, it was excellent quality and flawless mechanically while we had it..... But for a grocery getting, haul the youngins to soccer and such ...... The FJ is not much the suited platform..
But with that being said....we all may well know how things are when the "wife's not happy"

and if the FJ is the way you go...... I wouldn't fret over it not giving good service.