I like his last line..."finally, no, I will not make you one".
for the front, i'm thinking a large rectangular section in the middle with a winch mount, and tube or rectangle coming out at the sides to protect the sheetmetal at the sides of the front end. visualize an arb bull bar with a winch but with only the center section around the winch, and a couple of smaller tubes wrapping around the sides. it'd give more tire clearance at the front of the tire, so a larger tire than normal could be used when a lift is installed which moves the front axle(s) forward an inch or so.
haven't really thought about the rear much, but i have a hitch so it'd have to come off.
-sean