I did spend some more time on this today, and came to one conclusion, the wiring diagrams posted here are incorrect. They list a few parts, cables and connectors that are just not there, they also show the turn signal flasher as a seperate unit and it is actually mounted to my fusebox. I did find a connector with various shorting pins in it relating to the front lights, I think this may be the key. First I will check with the dealer and see if there are different ones for Canada and here... otherwise I will go back to hunting down wires...
... and I *refuse* to just leave my headlights on.