I didn't start carrying my older kid in the back of my 97 ext cab tacoma until he was about a year and a half old and was using a forward facing seat. When he got a little bigger, I went to a booster seat, with a back on it, which seemed to fit a little better than a convertable seat. He loves riding there.
I'm facing your dilema too; so far I haven't tried to drive with my 10 month old baby because I don't know how I can fit a rear facing car seat in addition. This is tough in an extended cab. I guess you could either move the passenger seat way ahead and put the car seat in back, or put the car seat on the front passenger seat and have your partner sit in back. To use the front seat, you might have change the seat belt so its the type that stays retracted. I think the 03s and newer have the right type of seat belt and used the LATCH system on the front seat as well.
One tip I will give you is that I put a 2" peice of high quality minicell foam under my sons car seat in back so it would wedge in solid. The stock seats in back don't have enough cushioning and resiliency to hold the seats in place otherwise. I showed this to a car seat inspector and he concurred it was better to use the foam than not. You could also try a MightyTite, which I didn't.
I would buy the car seat based on what fits the best, not what will last the longest.
Good luck!
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