Here are a few ways of identifying the mall ninjas (kudos to the ts member who originally coined the term in another thread)....also known as mall crawlers, grocery getters...etc.......
Here are a few revealing traits....Please feel free to add more...
1. Mall ninjas spend hours and hours cleaning, washing and polishing their truck....every few days out comes the clay bar (whatever that is) and a new coat of wax is applied
2. Mall ninjas worry about trying to eke out another .25 miles per gallon. They will try anything to get a minuscule improvement in miles per gallon. They will always compare their mileage to their BMW or any other luxury vehicle and can't understand why their truck mileage is so poor.
3. Mall ninjas have about 2 inches of sidewall on their tires and will wreck their rims if they hit a speed bump at a speed greater than 5 miles per hour
4. Mall ninjas will line x their bed, then place a bed mat on top of it. Their bed will always be empty and will never have a speck of dirt.
5. Mall ninjas will obsess about 0-60 times and will do any perform mod that promises to shave a tenth of a second off their time......
These are just a few ways to spot the imposter....Remember this is all in jest. I hope no one takes offense and sees this thread for what it is...an attempt at humor....
Actually their called Poser's,ones totally consumed with vanity.Living in fear of their social status ranking based on feedback of others cyber acceptance.
Wouldnt know a truck if it hit hit'em in the @$$
Only thing missing is a reference to lifted 2WD and having a friend "piping" your truck while you run video
Good Post
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The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain't so
- Mark Twain
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DCSB 5.7 SR5 4X4 TRD off-road package
mods: corsa dual split side sport series, TRD CAI, TRD RSB, weathertech front liners, all the way around 5% tint, windshield 35% tint, black headlights
future mods: complete sound system, 22" wheels/tires, front and rear bumpers painted in black, all grilles painted in black, and if i find some nice place to convert to leather seats
wish mods: will be S/C along with big brake kit and JBA headers
I would also add in the dorks that lift their trucks to the sky, slap fat mudders on it and never allow it to see dirt.
They have Chrome brush and tailight guards.
They complain that the truck doesn't ride smooth, handle or drive like their Bimmer
__________________ Want to know what's ironic? My Polish grandparents who were captured during the Warsaw Uprising.
Grandmother was enslaved in a German concentration camp and forced to make artillery shells for the 3rd Reich. Grandfather was in German and Soviet POW camps...ending up in Siberia. After WWII, they moved to the USA to be free, but Obama has turned it into the USSA...Grandaddy is rolling in his grave. CBTMA Member
Spray-On bedliner :: Century commercial cap :: Replaced ball joints (recall) :: Replaced RR fender molding (damaged) :: Hellwig anti-sway bar :: Plugged the piezo :: Gentex compass/temp. rearview mirror :: 56 LED center brake light in cap :: Scangauge II :: Back up camera ::: Someday: Mr. Fusion :: Flux Capacitor ...
"Muhammad Ali [...] had a way with words, but it helped enormously that he could also punch guys in the face." - Maher
in regards to the people griping about fuel mileage on these trucks not being the same as their other cars....these are the same people griping about "thin" sheet metal and "thin" bumpers and "thin tailgates" u know, all that stuff thats the same on any and every modern truck but they want to complain about it and if it was nice and beefy and thick steel like in the 60s and 70s then the truck would be heavier and get even less mpg......compromise isnt in alot of these peoples vocabs. also as stated above they are the ones who complain about it riding rough (like a truck) and want toyota to fix it and even acknowledge it is caused by their roads around where they live in particular but still say its 'broken'.
The true dork is...Blasting Duran Duran's "Hungry Like A Wolf" out of a 'dope' system, while crusin' by Toys R' Us and Olive Garden while drinkin' a Tab and poppin' his Polo Collar.
__________________ Want to know what's ironic? My Polish grandparents who were captured during the Warsaw Uprising.
Grandmother was enslaved in a German concentration camp and forced to make artillery shells for the 3rd Reich. Grandfather was in German and Soviet POW camps...ending up in Siberia. After WWII, they moved to the USA to be free, but Obama has turned it into the USSA...Grandaddy is rolling in his grave. CBTMA Member
These are the same guys who aren't in law enforcement or the military but show up at the gun range with the dual thigh holsters and every conceivable piece of "tactical" clothing and equipment they can buy. They then proceed to break every rule of gun/range safety because they don't have a f-ing clue what they are doing.
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Songdog
If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!
-- Milton Jones
The true dork is...Blasting Duran Duran's "Hungry Like A Wolf" out of a 'dope' system, while crusin' by Toys R' Us and Olive Garden while drinkin' a Tab and poppin' his Polo Collar.
Oh woody, you had me a slammed! LOL, j/k, that is funny!
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2007 5.7 SR5 4x4 Crewmax, Black with Tan Interior, Bench Seat, Bed Rails, Line-X, Black Oval Raptor Nerfs, Truxedo Lo Pro QT
These are the same guys who aren't in law enforcement or the military but show up at the gun range with the dual thigh holsters and every conceivable piece of "tactical" clothing and equipment they can buy. They then proceed to break every rule of gun/range safety because they don't have a f-ing clue what they are doing.
DO they also practice the stop, drop, roll and fire stance?
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2007 5.7 SR5 4x4 Crewmax, Black with Tan Interior, Bench Seat, Bed Rails, Line-X, Black Oval Raptor Nerfs, Truxedo Lo Pro QT
Can I still wash my truck every 3 months or so, or will I be deemed a crossdressing mall ninja?
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Beer please! CBTMA (Member and Founding Father: Est. August 15, 2008)
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Unknown - "The biological purpose of pain is to prevent the recurrence of stupidity."
How to spot a mall ninja
(courtesy of BS&E)
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