Remembering Morgan 2/5/00 - 7/17/08

[mbc]

With the recent threads about Shelly, Mary Beth, and Bruno, I have another story to add. I know that most of you don't know me, but I would like to share with everyone this brief story to help me cope with this terrible loss.


I lost my dog yesterday morning to the sudden onset of Visceral hemangiosarcoma. She died in my arms at roughly 3:30am

I have had many pets in my life, but Morgan was different. It always seemed to me that there was a person in that body rather than a dog; even though she would do dog things like snap at flies, lick her butt, etc.

Aside from the unconditional love we get from our Canine friends, Morgan really kept me grounded. She was very intuitive and somehow always seemed to cheer me up. She was my companion and she will surely be missed by everyone who knew her.

Yesterday, I took Morgan in to the vet with symptoms similar to heatstroke. She was panting incessantly and very weak. She would not eat or drink. Her vet was closing, so we went to the after hours emergency pet hospital. Her temp was 106.2- high enough to cause organ failure. She was put on an I.V. and many Xrays and tests were performed. The vet noticed that Morgan's spleen was enlarged and she had some fluid in her lungs. The heart looked normal. When Morgan's fever was gone, she was in better spirits and there seemed to be a light at the end of the tunnel. At 11:30pm, I took her for a walk outside the clinic and that's when I noticed she was not walking well. She had a hard time balancing herself and despite having 3 liters if I.V. fluid in her, she couldn't "go". I returned her to the cage they were keeping her in and went home to get some rest. Well, I couldn't sleep, so I went back to the clinic at 2:30am to learn that her condition had worsened. She now had an E.K.G. hooked up to her revealing severe arrhythmia. She was unresponsive to the Lidacane and she was panting again. I was informed that Morgan had fluid around her heart that decreased its ability to pump. This was why she was so weak and wobbly. By this time, Morgan had lost bladder control. The vet said if we let her be, she would die within a day or two. OR, Morgan could have the fluid drained, then surgery to remove malignant tumors, then chemo, then monitoring, then a poor quality of life that would last a year longer at most...
I made the decision to euthanize her and she died quietly, peacefully, and in my arms.
She will have a private cremation, and I will spread her ashes (along with the remains of my childhood pets) at her favorite park. Morgan was definately an Alfa female, she loved to hunt and this is a very large park with plenty of critters.

This all happened so suddenly and I am at a loss. I just turned 35 on the 12th.
My intuition was telling me that 35 was going to be a year to remember. So far, my new year has brought me much pain and now grief. During the first week of my new year, I nearly severed my left index finger (left -handed), and euthanized my dog.
WTF?

Morgan is the Lab on the right:
http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/b...d/000_0057.jpg
http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/b...d/000_0521.jpg
http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/b...d/000_0050.jpg
"Morgan, you have influenced my life in ways no human ever could. I am a better man because of you; I love you."

[OntheRox]

Im in tears...im very sad for you, but glad that you made the decision to not make her suffer any longer. Morgan will miss you terribly but she will get to see Bruno and they can talk about what wonderful families they had




35 was a very bad year for me too.

[guntech]

I feel your pain. Our Golden is about 14yrs old . It's gonna be tough when she goes.

[GGWOODY]

Sorry man...I do know what you're going through and it sucks so damned bad. No oe's words or actions will make you feel better about this...time will make you feel better, but you won't ever forget her. I still choke up about Bruno....especially when Beulla (my new boxer puppy) does something just like he would or acts like he did.

never an easy thing you're in my thoughts.

[FLTundra06]

I feel for you man. I lost my best freind when she was 14 and it took me a couple years before I could even consider another dog. The wife and I got another female mixed breed from a dog rescue and while she will never replace Mandy we have enjoyed her. Given time you will be able to enjoy the memories of Morgan without being so sad. Hang in there!

[mbc]

I appreciate the condolences.

I guess I'm in the coulda- woulda- shoulda- phase, and my face feels like the aftermath of a fight with Chuck Liddell from all this cryin'. I was with her in the end and that's what counts.

I'm still in shock and I am amazed that just a few days ago, she seemed so healthy and playful.

Bruno's story has inspired me to share Morgan with the world. Words can't describe what she meant to me.

I have another dog, the Beagle- Bassett in the first pic. She is also 8yrs old and is lonely. We can grieve together.

Thanks again.

[DevinSixtySeven]

It's amazing you could write all that without being a mess...just reading it about broke me up.

Don't beat yourself up over it--the one thing you can guarantee she wanted was to be with you, especially if she was hurting...and if her tail was waving every time she saw you, then you gave her a good life. It sounds like you gave her a good home and lots of love, and I'm sure it doesn't help much to hear it, but I think you did the right thing in the end...especially being with her. Sounds like she was a good dog with a good guy.

You done right...thank you for sharing it with us.

-Sean

[mbc]

Another thing I'll add to this,

When we see grave markers with date - date on them, The two dates represent the birth and death, yet they are so much more predominant than the small "-" that represents the entire life and all of the time in between.

Morgan

Feb 5, 2000 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------July 17, 2008

[GGWOODY]

Originally Posted by mbc

Bruno's story has inspired me to share Morgan with the world. Words can't describe what she meant to me.

That's really cool man. For me it was very therapeutic to just tell the story, and kinda get it off of my chest. I had a very hard time dealing with the fact that I had Bruno Euthanized. It was hard, because I chose when my best friend died. I said "It's time." From the outside, it seems easy because the guy was suffering, but from the inside it's tough, not for selfish 'I don't wanna let him go' reasons, it's tough, because of the guilt. "I decided when it was time for my best friend to die"....I hated that feeling..."What if he wasn't ready?" (even though it looked as if he had given up) what if he still wanted to fight, despite the pain?

No good way to deal with that. You just gotta say that he fought the good fight, and I did everything I could as a best friend and father to help him. The body gave out before the mind...at least they died lucid and understanding why we made the decisions we made.

So I know how you feel, and I'm glad you shared....hell it's still therapeutic for me to talk about it now...he my amblings above.

I keep Bruno on my nightstand now.

[Flashgordon]

MBC, my heart goes out to you.
You've been through a terrible ordeal but have conveyed your beloved dog to us in the most compasionate way.
I feel like I knew Morgan, I wish I had and she was a beautiful animal!

Our "fur kids" rely on us as much as we do them. They are truely amazing creatures.
But unfortunately we have to do at times the decision you had to do and my friend, that in itself is the single hardest thing to do. At least for me it was.

You'll miss her terribly and you will always think of her, just human nature I guess.
Only time will heal....but always think back on what great times you had with her. It will help.

Again, sorry to read about this.

[SCasey]

MBC,

Sorry to hear about your loss. It's always tough when an animal passes because they are without a doubt family...like a child to most owners...

A little something for you...

Just this side of heaven is a place called the Rainbow Bridge...

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together...

Author unknown...