Ok so im not an emotional guy...at least i didnt think i was.
But i just returned tonight from 2 months off work - took leave for our 2nd baby. So...I guess i really really have gotten close to not only the new baby but our 16 month old as well. To see him every day all day has been great, watching him learn and discover and do something new each and every day. The new baby has changed so much in the last 2 months as well.
So, im sitting here (assigned to the office to get some cases moved out, etc) and i realize how much i really really miss being at home. not because i dont want to be here (i kinda dont) but i miss my kids and my wife....and its only been less than half a shift.
anyone else get used to seeing their family every day all day like this then all the sudden have to go back to work or something?
i didnt feel this way the first time i took off (last year, 6 weeks for the first son).
my wife went back to work today also...she works the mornings and i work nights so we dont have to put our kids in child care.
maybe being home with the boys away from her for 11 hours and now being away from the boys and her for 11 hours is really getting to me...
can i be a stay at home daddy with a stay at home mommy? anyone know how to make that happen?
. . . then the next thing you know the kids are going to school, and you wonder where the time went. I appreciate every day I can get with the family, and I'd take a 10% pay cut tomorrow if I could also work 10% less. I don't need stuff, and I don't need the money: what I need is the time, and I'll make the best with what I got.
I never took any time off when my kids were born (no paid time off benefits) and that's something I regret, especially when our second child was born and the first one was almost 2 years old. My wife took 9 months off for each one, though which it was nice to be able to afford.
I congratulate you on being so emotionally involved with your kids, it's something I think is often lacking, and kids do better when they have a good connection to their dad.
Well . . . . back to work.
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Find a way to make your wife a stay at home mom, in my opinion that is the single greatest gift a man could give his wife. Of course, some woman are career oriented. And of course stay at home moms have days they feel like giving the kids away. But in the long run, I think its a big benefit (to your wife, your kids, your family).
I also think it's great you miss the kids. I was not working for several months, and like you it was a big adjustment getting back in the groove. I enjoyed dropping the kids off at school, picking them up, ice cream treats after school, softball practice, all the small stuff I was missing on the day to day basis. Of course, I was starting to get on the wifes nerves, so she was glad to see me go back.
And it's been shown in studies, you ask most kids what they wish for most. It's not necessarily a PS3 or iphone, but deep down it's just time. They want their parents time and attention. And in a blink they are grown up and gone, and you can never get it back. So, I can understand your missing the kids and I think that it's a great sign actually, that you care enough to want to spend your time with them and not just buy them off with presents.
/Mike
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Being at home is great. you and your wife could farm the land and stay off the grid.
But your world gets too small. ultimately not the best way to expose your children to the world.
After a few weeks as you get back into work, you will realize that your world expands, and you get a new comfort level. So for your child. parents who are 24/7 with their children don't give them the chance to learn from others. I got my kids socialized early. others took them and in kind i took theirs. You either go through this now, or when school starts or when they go off to college. Best when they are young.
Being at home is great. you and your wife could farm the land and stay off the grid.
But your world gets too small. ultimately not the best way to expose your children to the world.
After a few weeks as you get back into work, you will realize that your world expands, and you get a new comfort level. So for your child. parents who are 24/7 with their children don't give them the chance to learn from others. I got my kids socialized early. others took them and in kind i took theirs. You either go through this now, or when school starts or when they go off to college. Best when they are young.
oh i understand completely that part too....i come across so many people who were /are home schooled and they have ZERO social skills...same for most private schholed kids...they go wild when they hit the real world because nothing like that has been available or known to them before then....
oh i understand completely that part too....i come across so many people who were /are home schooled and they have ZERO social skills...same for most private schholed kids...they go wild when they hit the real world because nothing like that has been available or known to them before then....
Its been my experience, that kids who have a LEO parent, are the worst behaved. They break laws like crazy, probably think they will get off because the officer who pulls them over or arrests them, will give them a break.
You will have your hands full either way.
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Its been my experience, that kids who have a LEO parent, are the worst behaved. They break laws like crazy, probably think they will get off because the officer who pulls them over or arrests them, will give them a break.
You will have your hands full either way.
im betting mine will have a healthy fear of me like i had of my dad...just a hunch that i hope does pan out for me....
After being off work for around 4.5 months (surgery on both hands), it was very difficult to get back into the swing of things at work. It took time but eventually my mind set was no longer wishing I was at home, well....kind of.
The Mrs. and I got along great and it showed us what retirement will be like, but we've been married over 27 years.
Give it time, you'll often think of the life you had at home for 2 months. But at the end of each shift and you hurry to get home, when you walk in that door you'll realize that it's all worth it.
i really wish we could make momma a stay at home mom...but for now i dont see that happening... but you never know...
Why not make you a stay at home dad? I had a similar situation. I was out of
work for a year with an injury. I got to stay home with my son. When I went
back to work I really missed him and the routine we had. My schedule isn't a
very normal one anyway, so I spend a lot of time with him, but that extra time
really made a difference.
If I had the chance to stay at home and have my wife work full time and be
able to afford to pay the bills I'd do it in a heartbeat.
John
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Why not make you a stay at home dad? I had a similar situation. I was out of
work for a year with an injury. I got to stay home with my son. When I went
back to work I really missed him and the routine we had. My schedule isn't a
very normal one anyway, so I spend a lot of time with him, but that extra time
really made a difference.
If I had the chance to stay at home and have my wife work full time and be
able to afford to pay the bills I'd do it in a heartbeat.
John
cause i bring home 20k more than her...and no i cant afford to have her stay at home either...she still brings home 53k which would be a big paycut......
I changed my lifestyle to allow my wife to stay at home. I am military so my kids need a solid figure to have around all the time. I leave for months at at time and it is hard as heck to do. I worry all the time about the affect it has on my kids but it allows my wife to be a full time stay at home mom. I would rather work my butt off so she can stay at home. Sure I miss the heck out of my kids when I am gone but its the price I pay...... plus my oldest one understands why I have to go. She is an angel and is really stronger about it than her mom. That little one is a trooper. Leaving is the absolute worst but my wife is really good about being the support my girls need....
Everyones situation is different. Some people can and do make out better off in the big picture if only one works. Some people cannot. sometimes the location means such a high mortgage payment requires 2 paychecks. The same house could be $100,000 or $800,000 depending on the lot that it is on.
I am against having 1 parent work 2 jobs while the other stays home in most situations. sometimes it makes sense but from a family standpoint, it ends up to the kids like they are in a divorced parents household, you only get to visit the one parent on occasion. I know a family that did this and they are all grown. The dad missed out on their childhood and the kids don't know the dad that well.
I also know guys that try to do it right on their second family without ever going back and "fixing" the first.
We all have to decide what is most important and how to balance in the not so important. I know my kids rode in some old cars as kids as I turned down higher paying jobs that required lots of travel.
First day back at work...Family woes
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