Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five elderly ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back - wide-eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly ... Twenty-two miles an hour!" the woman says a bit proudly.
The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask ... is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks with concern.
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."
A man was stopped by a game warden in recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?!" the warden replied.
"Yes, sir. Every night I take these fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take 'em home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works."
"O.K. I've GOT to see this!" the game warden replied.
The man poured the fish in to the water and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well?"
"Well, what?" the man asked.
"When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted.
Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not.
At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
When you turn out the lights to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear physics at the age of 22.
Honest and hard working policemen will be gunned down three days before their retirement.
Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks--which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
If you are beautiful, your makeup never rubs off, even while scuba-diving or fighting aliens. However if you are overweight, your mascara will run and your lipstick will smear.
You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
When you belong to a super-secret government agency nobody's ever heard of, the local police will defer to you just because you flash a badge at them and sound important. The military will even let you steal a Harrier Jump Jet, as long as your partner promises he'll take responsibility.
If you are a police officer and your superior officer tells you that you are absolutely, positively off a particular case, he doesn't really mean it.
All computers in the universe are basically the same. If you are on the spaceship of alien insects from another time and dimension, you will have no problem doing a wireless data exchange between your laptop and their mainframe.
So you're a cop chasing a suspect and you suddenly need a car? Just flag down the nearest citizen, flash your badge at him and say, "Police business!" and he will give his car to you without argument -- even though there's a 98 percent chance you won't return it in one piece.
Would the pursuit be easier if you had a motorcycle? Just grab the nearest cop motorcycle you see. The officer assigned to the motorcycle may shout, "Hey, that's my bike!" but he won't get his fellow officers to chase you down and give it back.
The human body is capable of taking an incredible amount of abuse. You can get blasted 30 feet in the air, or pushed out of a jet aircraft, and still walk away from it without even a limp or the need to comb your hair.
Any person waking from a nightmare will bolt upright and pant.
Bullets are magnetic. If you stand behind a skinny metal pole when you're being fired upon, the bullets will be attracted to the pole.
In a high-speed car chase, you will always hit fruit stands and shopping carts full of groceries, but never people, and most vehicles will get out of your way as you approach.
All semi trailers are built so high that if you hit one from the side, it will cleanly tear off the roof of your car. If you duck down before you hit, you'll be okay.
If you have been shot, trying to tell the police who shot you will cause you to die in midsentence.
Most cities have underground tunnels with secret passages and caverns that nobody knows about except demented criminals. These caverns always have electric lighting and usually are warm, if not completely dry.
Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
Many buildings have secret rooms or even entire sub-basements that are unknown to anyone, including the architect.
If a criminal is fleeing the police on foot, and happens upon an old warehouse, or even a public works project such as a major dam, he will have no problem getting inside. Nobody locks the doors on those things.
Telephone call tracing always involves having a computer set up at the call recipient's home. It is not done at the telephone company, and it still takes several minutes to trace a call. Electronic switching and caller I.D. are just myths.
Anyone who has ever used a computer can break into any other strange computer they've never seen before, if you give them a little time. It may take a few seconds longer if they have to guess a password.
A 12-year-old brat with a computer can solve crimes that have baffled the cops for 15 years.
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing parade - at any time of the year.
If you are a hacker, expert or novice, and you break into a computer system you must say "Were in!" or "I'm in!" very enthusiastically and as if you've never broke into one before.
The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian military officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language; a German, Russian, or sometimes even a British accent will do.
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
A man will show not even an ounce of pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but in the next scene, he will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
The chief of police is always black.
When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.
A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
If a serial killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon.
Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.
All single women have a cat.
One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one, even if the one man has a revolver and each of the the 20 men has an Uzi.
If a phone line is broken, communication can be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying, "Hello?, Hello?"
Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cutting - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boat in an accident.
During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back.
Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them.
Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.
No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.
You can always find a chainsaw whenever you're likely to need one.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
No matter how fuzzy the photograph, it can be enlarged and enhanced to show the finest detail.
If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
Word processors never display a cursor, but do always say: "Enter Password Now" in giant letters.
In the event of a car chase, there will be two men carrying a large pane of glass through the streets for you to drive through.
When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.
A gang of highly-trained terrorists will always separate and search for an intruder on its own so its easy to kill them one at a time.
All prostitutes have a heart of gold.
All computer disks work in all computers, regardless of operating system.
When a person is knocked unconscious by a severe blow to the head, they never suffer a concussion or brain damage, but a slight bump on the head is enough to cause amnesia.
If you think there is an intruder in your house, your cat will choose that precise moment to leap at you.
The most beautiful girl in school will never be able to get a date.
In school, the end-of-class bell always interrupts teachers in mid-sentence.
If an airplane has a mid-air collision with anything, it will still be flyable if there is a pretty stewardess who can take over the controls.
You know a man is British if he wears a bow tie.
The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they are to fall in love.
Television news bulletins always feature a story that affects you personally at the precise moment you turn on the TV.
Every person of Asian descent in New York and San Francisco who owns a market is married, over 60, and the man wears a white button down shirt. His wife is hysterical most of the time, but will survive the burglary while her husband perishes.
When women wake up in the morning, their hair is never a mess, it's only fetchingly tousled.
Gifts never need to be unwrapped. Simply lift the top of the box off.
All telephone numbers in the United States begin with the digits 555.
You never have to click a cigarette lighter or strike a match more than once to get a flame.
Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
Although in the 21st century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.
Spacecraft will explode in flames, even though there is no oxygen for the fire.
When a fight starts in a bar room, complete strangers who were minding their own business will suddenly start punching each other.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.
If someone says "I'll be right back", they won't be.
Interesting how a single decision reverberates through the ages:
Railroad tracks: The U.S. standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.
That is an exceptionally odd number.
Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and the U.S. railroads were built by English expatriates.
Why did the English build them that way?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did "they" use that gauge then?
Because the people that built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
So why did the wagons have that particular odd spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old , long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So, who built those old rutted roads?
The first long distance roads in Europe (and England) were built by Imperial Rome for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads?
The ruts in the roads, which everyone had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels, were first formed by Roman war chariots. Since the chariots were made for (or by) Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
The U.S. standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches drives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman war chariot.
Specifications and bureaucracies live forever.
Now the twist to the story ?
When we see a space shuttle sitting on its launching pad, there are two booster rockets attached to the side of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs.
The SRBs are made by Thiokol, at their factory in Utah.
The engineers, who designed the SRBs, might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train, from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory had to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horses.
So, the major design feature of what is arguably the worlds' most advanced transportation system, was determined over two thousand years ago, by the width of a horse's a$$.
Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. If men really wanted to wear bathrobes, they wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
Rule #6: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.
Rule #7: Buy men label makers. They are almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.
Rule #8: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.
Rule #9: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks."
Rule #10: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook-but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"
Rule #11: Tickets to a football game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.
Rule #12: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why-please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
Rule #13: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a stepladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.
Rule #14: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.
A shepherd was herding his flocks in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and a YSL tie leaned out of the window and asked the shepherd: "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looks at the yuppie, then at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers "sure!"
The yuppie parks the car, whips out his notebook, connects it to a cell-phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system, scans the area, opens up a database and 60 Excel spreadsheets with complex formulas. Finally he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech miniaturized printer, turns round to the shepherd and says "You have exactly 1586 sheep!".
"That is correct, take one of the sheep" says the shepherd. He watches the young man select a sheep and bundle it in his Cherokee.
Then he says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me my sheep back?"
"Okay, why not" answers the young man.
"You are a consultant" says the shepherd.
"That is correct" says the yuppie, "How did you guess that?"
"Easy" answers the shepherd. "You turn up here although nobody called you. You want to be paid for the answer to a question I already knew. And you don't know anything about my business. Now, can I please have my dog back?"
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like mowing my lawn?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folk's homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a Huey coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car- there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day.
As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!
At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, 'You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?' The Lord sighed, and said, 'No, I guess not.'
Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole for a 420 yard hole in one. St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, 'Why did you let him do that?'
The Lord smiled and replied, 'Who's he going to tell?'
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater.
When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient.
"Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager."
Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man.
Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.
The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?"
"Sam," the man moaned.
"Where ya from, Sam?"
With pain in his voice Sam replied, "The balcony."
A pregnant woman gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, "Ma'am you had twins! - a boy and a girl. Your brother came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "No, not my brother ... he's not very bright!"
She asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"
"Denise."
"Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?"
"Well, Bill," said St. Peter, "I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Microsoft Windows program. I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."
Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the two?"
St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, to see if it will help your decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?" Bill asked.
"I'll leave that up to you." God replied.
"Okay then," said Bill, "let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of long-legged women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was very pleased.
"This is great," he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I really want to see Heaven."
"Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went.
Heaven was a place high in the clouds, beautiful and sunny, happy people walking around in white robes with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.
Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.
"Hmmm. Heaven's nice, I think I'd prefer Hell," he told God.
"Fine," replied God, "as you desire."
So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, surrounded with heavy thick-legged women and being burned and tortured by demons, with no one to help him out of his dilemma no matter how loud he screamed.
"How's everything going?" He asked Bill.
Bill responded with his voice filled with anguish and tormented disappointment.
"This is awful. This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago. I can't believe this is happening. What happened to that other place, with the beaches and the long-legged women playing in the water????"
"Oh," said St. Peter, what you saw was the Demo Verision."
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
The results:
Better to be safe than...punch a 5th grader.
Never underestimate the power of...termites.
You can lead a horse to water but...how?
Don't bite the hand that...looks dirty.
No news is... impossible.
A miss is as good as a... Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new... math.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll... stink in the morning.
Love all, trust... me.
The pen is mightier than the... pigs.
An idle mind is... the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there's... pollution.
A penny saved is... not much.
Don't put off till tomorrow what...you put on to go to bed.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose.
None are so blind as... Stevie Wonder.
Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.
If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.
You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box.
When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way.
There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles,
so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom.
She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy,
took him behind a tree and wrote this note.
"I have kidnapped your child.
Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M.
Signed, The Blonde"
She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag,
behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed.
Inside the bag was the following note... "Here is your money.
I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!"
__________________ HAVE YOU DRIVEN OVER A FORD LATELY?
Team West SAWS (cranked up to 3.25")
Total Chaos UCA
ORS Manual hub kit
reese front receiver hitch
10,000 lb. winch on receiver hitch
Warn Quick connects front and rear
rear brake porportioning valve mod
3" perfomance products body lift
skyjacker AAL
wheelers urithane kit for front swaybar and steering rack
BFG AT's
Eagle101 wheels
CB radio W/ dual fiberglass 48" ant.
Linear Mode
