The following is an excerpt from the children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants", by Dave Pilkey:
In the story, the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names.
Now then, Use the third letter of your first name to determine your NEW first name:
a = stinky
b = lumpy
c = buttercup
d = gidget
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = fluffy
h = cheeseball
i = chim-chim
j = poopsie
k = flunky
l = booger
m = pinky
n = zippy
o = goober
p = doofus
q = slimy
r = loopy
s = snotty
t = falafel
u = dorkey
v = squeezit
w = oprah
x = skipper
y = dinky
z = zsa-zsa
Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your NEW last name:
a = diaper
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = bubble
e = girdle
f = barf
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = cootie
j = monkey
k = potty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = burger
p = hamster
q = toad
r = gizzard
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = chicken
v = pickle
w = chuckle
x = tofu
y = gorilla
z = stinker
Now, Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your NEW last name:
a = head
b = mouth
c = face
d = nose
e = tush
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m = tushie
n = chunks
o = hiney
p = potatoes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = brains
z = juice
Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Goober Chickenshorts.
John Kerry's new name would be: Cheeseball Girdlebuns.
Now, when you reply to this, make sure you list your new name.
Crusty Pizzabuns......Sounds good with pepperoni maybe.
__________________
Dark charcoal gray CST leather, Wheeler's coils w/ HD Bilsteins, BFG 265/70/R17 A/Ts on 17x8 Boyd's, factory DVD RSE system, tinted windows, black OEM all-weather floor mats, BedBolts hooks in the center of the bed (dog anchors), an OEM rubber bed mat, VSE Subwoofer, K&N FIPK, JBA Titanium coated headers, Spintech 3333 Sportsman muffler..........so far.
Coming Soon: Line-X, maybe a billet grill.
Vehicles/Toys
2005 Toyota Tundra DC 4x4 SR5
2002 Toyota Epic S22 V-Drive Wakeboard Boat
2002 Honda Accord V6
1996 Harley Davidson FLSTN
Wife = Fluffy Burgertush but uses Maiden at work= Fluffy Chickensniffer
__________________ '05 Tundra DC TRD 2 WHL: The TOW truck, Spectra Mica Blue, with Kenwood H/U, Kenwood Amp and crossover. Infinity 6010cs, 10" Rockford SUB, 6 disc CD Changer mounted in Center console, SWI-X to retain steering wheel controls, 7" TV with DVD. Tinted Windows, Three chamber Flowmaster, Painted front chrome strip
1994 Toy: The TOY Standard cab, Long travel front pulling13" w/Double fox w/Res, Deaver rear at 18" w/Single 2.5 18" fox w/Res., full glass, Bumper to Bumper cage, Gusseted frame, PRP seats, Crow harnesses, Custom steering(All Heims & Chromoly), Grant steering wheel, Smoothest ride around. OH by the way only 70,000 miles.
Rhino Lining, Waag one piece grille guard and wheel to wheel nerf bars, 3M Xpel on headlights, front corner lights, and foglights, Valentine One radar detector, XM Satellite radio, Navigon 7100 GPS, Lightforce 240 Blitz aux lights, Aux. reverse lights.
AEM Brute force intake, courtesy of AEM Power and TundraSolutions.com
Teamwest Coilovers, Camburg Upper A arms, Daystar Steering Rack Bushings, Total Chaos Diff Drop spacer, JBA Headers, Y-Pipe, and EVOL exhaust.
General Purpose Silliness
What the he....? 
My significant other... Falafel Chickenchunks?! 
Mine
'05 Tundra DC TRD 2 WHL: The TOW truck, Spectra Mica Blue, with Kenwood H/U, Kenwood Amp and crossover. Infinity 6010cs, 10" Rockford SUB, 6 disc CD Changer mounted in Center console, SWI-X to retain steering wheel controls, 7" TV with DVD. Tinted Windows, Three chamber Flowmaster, Painted front chrome strip 
1994 Toy: 
Linear Mode
