Here is the instruction on how to install DRL. The OP did an excellent write-up, props to him.
DTRL install DIY! - Toyota Forums :: Toyota Nation
It worked for my 08, so I can only assume the 09's are the same. To disable them, you would just need to added the Non-DRL hardware.
Perhaps you guys can swap parts or I'm sure you can find the none DRL relay as many members have done this swap.
I actually should have both sets of parts somewhere in my garage as I added DRL to my truck (I removed the non DRL hardware) but ordered two of everything to add DRL (so now I have an extra DRL relay and harness, still in the box somewhere).
If I can find the parts, and you guys cover shipping, there yours if your interested.
Shawn