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TexasRegional events, meets and local discussions in Texas and its West South Central neighbors.
TX, OK, AR, LA
This is a discussion thread titled "**The BS Thread - Part 2**", within the Texas forum, part of the News and Events category.
Due to a software issue, threads larger than 500 post will not except the command of a split.
Now don't get your panties all twisted up.
We will not lose what was posted on the old *The BS Thread*, it has been locked and marked - Read Only - for the enjoyment of our new members or if ya just want to recall a few laughs that were posted.
So here we go again.....
Let the BS'n commence!
Dan
__________________ DAN Click on my door and see my interior. 2001 Tundra SR5 V8 Desert Sand Mica
TRD Dual Exhaust | Bilsteins Shocks & HD TRD 4x4 Coil Springs | Hellwig Anti-Sway Bar | Westin Nerf Bars | Stainless Bed Rails | Bed Extender | Bed Liner | Form Fix Hood Protector | Custom Painted IS Grille & Mirror Covers | Stainless Tundra License Plate Frames | Custom Made Receiver Hitch | Totally De-Badged | Super Magnetic Oil Drain Plug | Mobil One Synthetic Oils | Custom Window Etching | Tinted Windows | Muth Signal Mirrors | Door Sill Protectors | Interior Rubber Mats | Gentex Temp & Comp Auto-Dim Rearview Mirror | Weatherflector Ventvisors | TS Decal | Complete Brake Upgrade | Truxedo Tonneau Cover| Michelin LTX M/S Tires
Two men were riding a motorcycle on a windy winter day. When it became too breezy for one man, he put his jacket on backwards to keep the wind from blowing it open.
A few miles down the road, the motorcycle hit a tree, killing the driver and stunning the man with the backwards coat.
Later, when the coroner visited the scene, he asked a Texas Ranger standing nearby: "What happened?"
"Well, the Ranger replied, "One of them was dead when I got here, and by the time I got the head of the other one straightened around, he was dead, too."
A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself.
"You know, dear," she says, "I look in the mirror, and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs are barely above my waist, and my butt is hanging out a mile. I've got fat legs, and my arms are all flabby." She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."
He studies hard for a moment thinking about it and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well, . there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."
Services for the husband will be held Saturday morning at 10:30 at St. Anselm's Memorial Chapel. Female friends of the family are invited.
These three Legionnaires are walking through the desert under a baking sun. They're fully equipped with enough water for days and food aplenty.
On the shimmering horizon, mirages come and go and come again. They see visions of swimming pools attended by dusky maidens and stalls full of ice creams and sorbets of every conceivable flavour. But the Legionnaires do not crack. Instead they keep marching solidly on.
Suddenly one of them freezes. "Psssst," he says. His companions halt and strain their eyes to where the first Legionnaire is pointing.
"Le voila," he says, "Regardez, mes amis, isn't zat a bacon tree on ze 'orizon?"
And sure enough, there it is, proud and defiant in the middle of the desert, a true bacon tree. Slowly they creep forward towards the far off mystery object. Inch by inch, centimetre by centimetre, until they are within a stone's throw of the bacon tree. Ever nearer they creep until suddenly a shot rings out, dropping one of the Legionnaires in his tracks. The other Legionnaires hit the ground as bullets thud into the sand around them.
The other two return fire and give first aid to their wounded companion. Even as they bandage him and pour water over his face they can hear his faint voice. "Zat was no bacon tree," he gasps, "Zat was an 'am bush."
A blonde decides to try riding horseback, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse and tries to throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head strikes the ground over and over again.
As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when - fortunately the Supermarket manager sees her and turns off the horse.
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person...because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large... all in the name of humor." Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little f***er on your knee!"
**The BS Thread**
posted too much BS!
(stink lines???)
Linear Mode
