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Joke of the day:



The Indian With One Testicle


There once was an Indian who had only one testicle


And whose given name was 'Onestone'.


He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.


After years and years of torment,


Onestone finally cracked and said,'


If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'


The word got around and nobody called him that any more.


Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said,


'Good morning, Onestone..'


He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day andall night.


He made love to her all the next day,


Until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.


The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.


Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until


A woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.


Yellow Bird , who was BlueBird's cousin,


Was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.


She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'


Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest,


Then he made love to her all day,


Made love to her all night,


Made love to her all the next day,


Made love to her all the next night, but YellowBird wouldn't die!










Why ???










OH, come on... Take a guess !!!










Think about it !!!










You're going to love this !!!










Everyone knows..




You can't kill Two Birds




With

OneStone !!!
 

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Discussion Starter #3
;)
I didn't check it after I posted the copy.
 

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The old Cherokee chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking the ceremonial pipe, eyeing the US government officials sent to interview him.
"Chief Two Eagles," one official began, "you have observed the white man for 90 years. You have observed his wars and his material wealth. You have seen his progress and the damage he has done."
The Chief nodded that it was so.
The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"
The Chief stared at the government officials for over a minute, and then calmly replied,
"When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No taxes. No debt. Plenty buffalo. Plenty beaver. Women did all the work. Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing, all night screwing women."
The Chief leaned back and smiled, "White man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."



 

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Budreau's gal was sittin' on the porch peeling shrimp when she hears a loud crash coming from inside. A few seconds later there was another crash and a tinkling of cans bouncing on the floor. So she goes in and finds Budreau in the kitchen with a dish towel in his hand and looking around. "Whatcha doin', Budreau?", she asks. "I'm huntin' houseflies", he said, "An I done got two males and two females." Charmaine inquires, "So, you can tell the males from the females, huh? How you know the difference?" Budreau said, "Easy, Charmaine. I killed the two males on a beer can & the two females on the phone."
 

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Discussion Starter #6
 

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A Frenchman named Pierre was walking through the small town
he lived in with a friend. He pointed to a row of houses
and says;

"You see those houses? I cut all the wood to build them!
But do they call me Pierre the lumberjack?

NO!"

They walk along a bit further, and he points to a number
of boats in the harbor. "You see those boats? I built those
boats! But do they call me Pierre the boat builder?

NO!"

He turns to his friend and says "but suck just one little **** ..."

 

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Discussion Starter #9
 

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When you're from the farm, your perception is a little bit different.

A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door.
"Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.
"No, they went to town."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No, he went with Mom and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says, "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably. "No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".
The boy thought for a moment...then says,
"You'll have to talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $150 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard."












View attachment 60118
 

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jokes.jpg


Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bob's wife, Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.


Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob's wife followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you like under there?' Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500.' After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested.

Sue told him that since her husband Bob worked Friday afternoons and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Bob's house at 2 p.m. sharp - and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 - they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed. Jim quickly dressed and left. As usual, Bob came home from work at 6 p.m. And upon arriving, asked his wife:

'Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?'

Surprised, Sue answered 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon 'Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'And did he give you $500?'

Sue, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500.'

Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, 'He came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.'

Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player!
 

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Bob and Jim are hanging out one day. Bob says to Jim, "Man, your wife has some really great boobs! I'd give you $50 bucks if I could touch them puppies!" Jim agrees and asks his wife to come over and take off her shirt, which she does. Bob gets up and slowly walks around her, then walks around her again. He gets down and looks up at them, then gets up on a chair and looks down at them, then walks around her again. Jim grows impaitient and says "Dammit Bob, just touch 'em already!" "I can't," says Bob, "I ain't got fifty dollars!!"
 
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