Nineteen Potentially Fatal Things to Say to a Pregnant Woman:
19. "I thought we were only having one baby"
18. "I'll love you no matter how really big you get"
17. "I finished the Oreos."
16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty pounds."
15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Anderson had a baby..."
14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!"
13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl."
12. "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."
11. "Fred down at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."
10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"
9. "I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"
8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
7. "Get your *own* ice cream."
6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."
5. "Got milk?"
4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."
3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"
2. "Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."
1. "You don't have the guts to pull that trigger...
Uh, no. Mrs. SD and I are childless. Actually, we prefer the term "child free".
One day, after nearly an eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam dials up God and says; "Lord, I have a problem"I am still wondering what God was thinking when He created Eve
I've been thinking about adopting a girl myself, maybe a nice 18 year old.I never had any biological kids .. because I was concerned about having consumed all that "agent orange" stuff in RVN.
However, via 2 marriages, I did adopt 2 girls. One is finally out of college and the other daughter started her 1st year of college last week.
All I can say is ... even with scholarships and etc ... bring up the girls has cost a mint.
But, it was well worth it.