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Don't argue with an insomniac.
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rock, wait till u get them pregnant...our baby is coming out thursday morning so im at least somewhat close to getting the normal wife back but as it was last year, the preggers dont go away right then...it takes months to wear off haha
 

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"Rosco" Thread Derailer
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Don't argue with an insomniac.
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Discussion Starter #6
Yeah a dictionary to translate what they mean when they're pregnant would be helpful. A basic pointer, though: whatever you do, you're wrong.
 

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That thing about personal ads reminds me years ago this guy I knew through a friend went online and thought he found the perfect woman. they messaged back and forth and decided to meet.
So he went off to meet her but never found her. The closest he came to was a huge woman wearing the same clothes that his date said she would be wearing.

But it was his fault. She said early on that she was voluptuous and he thought it just meant her breast were big, not the rest of her.
 

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Admin from Hell
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Nineteen Potentially Fatal Things to Say to a Pregnant Woman:

19. "I thought we were only having one baby"

18. "I'll love you no matter how really big you get"

17. "I finished the Oreos."

16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty pounds."

15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Anderson had a baby..."

14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!"

13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl."

12. "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."

11. "Fred down at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."

10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"

9. "I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"

8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"

7. "Get your *own* ice cream."

6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."

5. "Got milk?"

4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."

3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"

2. "Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."

1. "You don't have the guts to pull that trigger...
 

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Nineteen Potentially Fatal Things to Say to a Pregnant Woman:

19. "I thought we were only having one baby"

18. "I'll love you no matter how really big you get"

17. "I finished the Oreos."

16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty pounds."

15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Anderson had a baby..."

14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!"

13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl."

12. "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."

11. "Fred down at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."

10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"

9. "I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"

8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"

7. "Get your *own* ice cream."

6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."

5. "Got milk?"

4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."

3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"

2. "Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."

1. "You don't have the guts to pull that trigger...

Are you talking from personal experience?
 

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Admin from Hell
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Are you talking from personal experience?
Uh, no. Mrs. SD and I are childless. Actually, we prefer the term "child free".
 

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Uh, no. Mrs. SD and I are childless. Actually, we prefer the term "child free".

I never had any biological kids .. because I was concerned about having consumed all that "agent orange" stuff in RVN.

However, via 2 marriages, I did adopt 2 girls. One is finally out of college and the other daughter started her 1st year of college last week.

All I can say is ... even with scholarships and etc ... bring up the girls has cost a mint.

But, it was well worth it.

SOS
.
 

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I have maintained for years now that women are far more complex than men can ever hope to understand, and men are far more simple than women could ever believe.
 

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I am still wondering what God was thinking when He created Eve, but thats before she ate the fruit in disobedience.

Adam couldn't get his wife to obey him so why should I think mine will. Adam ended up like most of us, doing what our wives tell us too.

Yes, you can believe the bible as its so true.
 

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I am still wondering what God was thinking when He created Eve
One day, after nearly an eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam dials up God and says; "Lord, I have a problem"

"What's the problem, Adam?" God replies.

"Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Adam?", comes the reply from the heavens.

"Lord, I know that you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I'm lonely." "The sheep and I do not speak the same language."

"Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a WOMAN for you"


"Forgive me, Lord, but what is a WOMAN?"

"This WOMAN will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth. She will unquestioningly care for your every need and desire. She will be the perfect companion for you." Replies the heavenly voice.

"Sounds great to me." says Adam.

"She will be great, as is with all things I create, well except for the Platypus, but Adam.........."

"Yes Lord."

"This is going to cost you."

"How much will this WOMAN cost me Lord?" Adam replies.

"She'll cost you your right arm,..... your right leg,..... an eye and an ear,... and........... your left testicle."

Adam ponders this for some time. Then with a look of deep though and concern still etched on his face Adam says, "Ehhhh, what can I get for a rib?"
 

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Good post Leland, I guess you get what you pay for.
 

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I never had any biological kids .. because I was concerned about having consumed all that "agent orange" stuff in RVN.

However, via 2 marriages, I did adopt 2 girls. One is finally out of college and the other daughter started her 1st year of college last week.

All I can say is ... even with scholarships and etc ... bring up the girls has cost a mint.

But, it was well worth it.

SOS
.
I've been thinking about adopting a girl myself, maybe a nice 18 year old.
 
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